(This is the first in a series of meditations on the Mysteries of the Rosary by Reverend Addisalem Mekonnen, Spiritual Director of the Philadelphia Senatus)
Our Lady of the Rosary: The First Sorrowful Mystery: Jesus’ Agony in the Garden
What can we do when we feel tempted to leave the Church which is our home?
It is unfortunate that the whole Church is suffering so much evil because some of her sheep have been seriously wounded and victimized by unfaithful shepherds. This has caused many of both the laity and the faithful clergy righteous anger for those unfaithful shepherds who failed miserably to protect our Lord’s sheep. The news media has been the medium that has not caused the sufferings, but reported the findings of those investigations. I apologize for the evil my brother shepherds have caused to our Lord’s sheep. This has caused many Catholics to feel many intense emotions most especially that of rejection, anger, sadness and isolation in the world because our faith has sought the presence of Jesus in all of the shepherds of the Church. We are tempted then to fall into one or another extreme of either categorizing all shepherds as unfaithful or faithful.
This then should motivate us to seriously seek Jesus the Good Shepherd with eyes of faith from within our own soul after we receive Him through Holy Communion and by praying the Sacred Scriptures through the holy Rosary. We are called as mature disciples with the help of our Blessed Mother to seek Christ with a living faith from within our own soul because just as we hear what was written in the letter to the Hebrews namely, that Jesus Christ is the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb 12:3).
Just imagine how our Lord felt when He Himself was betrayed by His chosen disciple and apostle Judas Iscariot. Our Lord felt rejected and alone as He prayed in the garden taking upon Himself the sins of every single person in the world throughout human history. Our Lord’s three closest apostles were sleeping as He prayed not only for them not to lose their faith, but also for the faithfulness of the future shepherds and people of God. These eleven holy apostles were completely unaware of the evil that Judas intended to do even at our Lord’s institution of the Holy Eucharist despite the fact our Lord prophesized this intentional betrayal multiple times. Our Lord understands and can easily relate to feeling betrayed since He experienced this for Himself, so He can help experience the healing we are looking for from within our own heart. Our Lord could see not only Judas but future shepherds that would betray His trust and reject His infinite love.
We must never fall into a sorrow that leads to despair because this is self-destructive, but one that leads to hope for healing which is support for the whole Church as the living Body of Christ. This healing is possible because our Lord has the power to accomplish it and is more than willing to apply this healing to those who reveal their sufferings to Him in the Rosary. Our Lord turned to His Heavenly Father in His agony and our Lady turned to her Son in her agony, so may we turn to Jesus living in Mary to help us feel a consolation that can come from within our own soul.